15 Women Share How Long It Took Them to Get Over Their Exes—and How They Did It

Deadlines are important for bills, assignments at work, and dairy products—but apparently they’re also a solid way to shut down those leftover feelings for your ex. Jordin Sparks says that she gave herself 21 days to get over her ex-boyfriend Jason Derulo, according to People, and it worked. During that time, she actually created a video blog to chronicle her progress and, of course, sing “I Don’t F*ck with You” by Big Sean at the top of her lungs. Hey, whatever works—right?

While that strategy might have been effective for Sparks, it’s probably not a sure fix for everyone. So to find out just how long it really takes to get over an ex, we asked these women to share their post-breakup timelines and how they successfully moved on.

“It takes me a while to get over anyone, mostly because of texting and social media. My last ex and I stayed in touch on and off for a year after we broke up. But, I learned that I needed to keep busy in order to cut ties to him. I went out to bars on weeknights instead of staying in, binge watched new shows, and I eventually just stopped thinking about him.” —Alissa K

“It took me about a year to get over my ex. Granted, we spent a lot of that time in the gray area of ‘will we or won’t we get back together?’ I met a new guy, which definitely helped, but I was still waffling between him and my ex for a while. (I know, I’m a jerk.) Then, one day, I woke up and just decided I was done with all of the games my ex was playing and wanted to give the new guy a chance. I don’t know what really did it, but making that decision for myself and consciously choosing to stop wondering ‘what if’ helped a lot.” —Robin H.

“When I found out my ex of two and a half years was cheating on me, I was completely done with him, but it took me a while to get over the betrayal. I could hear myself annoying my friends and even the new guys I was seeing by talking about it all the time. In the year after our breakup, I dated more people than I ever had, which put more distance between me and that sucky dude. Plus, after realizing that everyone was sick of hearing me talk about my ex, I made it a goal to not bring it up and forget about it. It worked!” —Ashley O.

“It only took me about a week to get over my last ex. After he graduated from college, about two years before I did, we got to the point where we had nothing in common anymore—we barely saw each other. For the last three months of the relationship, I knew it was fizzling out and that I should end it, so I didn’t feel that bad when I broke things off. Plus, I jumped into a relationship with my current boyfriend (whom I’ve been with for over six years) about two weeks after my breakup, which definitely sped-up the process of getting over my ex.” —Christina H.

“It took me a long time to get over the guilt of breaking up with my last ex. When I told him it was over, he was surprised, very hurt, and angry. I felt horrible for making him so upset. Over the course of two years, I tried to stay friendly with him to ease his pain, but when I heard he had a girlfriend, I felt totally relieved and completely over him.” —Jessica B.

“After staying off of social media and cutting off contact with my ex-boyfriend for an entire year, I got back on social and saw he was with another girl. It didn’t upset me at all.” —Jennifer P.

“Six months after the breakup, I remember waking up and just feeling like I was finally over my relationship of over two years. It probably helped that I recently got a message from another guy I was crushing on before I started dating my ex asking if I wanted to meet him for coffee. The timing was perfect, and I started dating that guy soon after.” —Sandra R.

“After going through several years of ups and downs with a guy I met in high school, we ended things in our mid-20s. At first, I was devastated because we had so many memories from different phases of our lives, and it took me almost a year to shake the sad feelings. What helped me the most was remembering that even though I was sad, I still had the same great family, friends, and job I had before the relationship and the breakup. It was also pretty satisfying to remove the guy as a friend on Facebook!” —Rose W.

“It took me just over a year to move on from a guy I dated. The first few months after the breakup, I thought it would be impossible to look at anyone else how I looked at him. But when I started to date again, I realized I could feel attracted to other guys. By the time February rolled around again, I was totally over him.” —Megan S.

“There was a lot of physical chemistry between me and this guy I was seeing for a couple of months, but he was about to be divorced and wasn’t looking for anything serious. During our relationship, I was constantly worried about what he was really doing when we weren’t together. After two months, I decided to stop stressing about him and focus on myself. I started hitting the gym more frequently and I dated a lot. I ended up meeting my current boyfriend about a week after the last time I saw my ex and never thought about him again.”  —Kristina M.

“I’ve heard that you should be on good terms with your ex, but when my college boyfriend and I decided to end things, being friends made it hard to get over him—it took me a year and a half. We’d meet up for drinks or lunch every few weeks, and he came to my birthday just a month after we’d split. It made it hard for me to remember why we broke it off. I think I was finally able to get over it when we started seeing other people and drifted apart.” —Lauren V.

“After my first long-term relationship ended, I spent a little less than a year being a “serial dater.” I couldn’t fully move on until another solid dating prospect had shown up. When I started to get to know one guy I really liked, there was no looking back at my ex.” —Sasha F.

“After I ended my relationship of three and a half years, I thought that my ex would realize he took me for granted and come back. But when he didn’t, I went out dancing, drank too much, and dated a lot. Though, I still kept my ex at arm’s length, which made it hard to completely get over him. About 15 months later, I cut the cord by stopping the texts and no reaching out, and I could finally move on.”  —Trina W.

“It took me eight months to get over my ex. For six months after the split, I was depressed and discouraged about finding anyone ever again. I ended up reading the book Become Your Own Matchmaker by Patti Stanger, which gave me a new perspective on dating. I realized that my previous relationship wasn’t meant to be and that finding the right guy could take time. So, I focused on improving my life for myself, not some guy. I took a break from dating and filled my life with things like spending time with friends, working out, and planning a big move—I met Mr. Right a month later.” –Julie D.

After a year and half together, it took me about six months to get over my ex. Post breakup, we chased went back and forth about getting back together, but the timing was always off. Finally, I cut him off. I stopped responding to his texts and calls and deleted him and his friends and family on social media. I was tempted to keep tabs on him, but I knew I shouldn’t. Also, I didn’t want his friends to see what I was up to. Once I took a step back and saw that I would suffer if I stuck around him, I could move forward.”—Elana C.


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15 Things We REALLY Wish Guys Knew About Giving Oral

Guys try—they really do. But when it comes to oral sex, they can fluctuate between acting like they’ve never seen a vagina before to getting so in the zone that they have no freaking clue what’s working (or not) for you.

Of course, some men absolutely know what’s up down there (and if you’ve found one of these dudes, marry him immediately), but from our experience, it’s not the norm.

With that in mind, we’ve created a little cheat sheet for dudes of the things we wish they knew about oral. Print it out, “accidentally” leave it up on your browser, wallpaper your place with it…hopefully he’ll get the hint.

Make Pit Stops
Getting up, shifting your body down, and honing in on her vagina like a heat-seeking tongue missile is the opposite of sexy. Work your way down by kissing her neck, breasts, stomach, and inner thighs. Then you can go in for the kill.

Don’t Be All American Pharoah Out of the Gate
Speaking of going in for the kill, you may like it hard and fast right away…but women like a little buildup. Take your time, assess the situation, and go slooow.

She’s Self-Conscious About It
Vaginas be crazy: They can develop an odor, have excess discharge, and even taste different (or so we hear). So it’s pretty understandable that we might feel a little uncomfortable about you sticking your face down there. Tell your girl she’s beautiful, and let her know how into it you are, too. That’ll go a long way.

Play Nice
While we know you want to use every tool you’ve got when you’re down there, never, ever use your teeth. If you do, you and your Dracula fanboy *ss might be sleeping together on the couch tonight.

Use Your Ears
If all you hear is “…” you’re doing it wrong. Soften your approach, try a different spot, and listen for moans—that’s your cue that you’ve found the right spot.

…And Your Hands
Okay, okay—it’s oral sex. But you can make it so much better if you add in a little finger action, as well. Just keep in mind that our hatred of jackhammer sex applies to finger usage as well.

Forget What Your Ex Told You Works
Every woman is different. Plus, she was probably lying.

She’s Shifting Around for a Reason
We want to help, so let us. If she’s repeatedly arching her back in a way that moves your tongue away from its current maneuver, there’s probably a reason for it. Go to the next move, man.

Know Where the Clitoris Is
Take a second, and run your finger along the top of her vagina. Feel that little bump? You found it—hooray! Still lost? Your buddy Google will clue you in later.

…And Use It
Please. Pretty please?

…Just Don’t Spend All Your Time There
Some dudes are obsessed with the clitoris—obsessed. And while it’s a super awesome and incredibly important part to focus on, there are other areas that feel pretty damn good, too. Branch out and showcase your versatility. She’ll appreciate it.

Spelling the Alphabet Down There Is Just Weird
Know that trick you read where spelling the alphabet on her ladybits with your tongue is the best thing ever? It’s not. It’s just weird.

Try Sucking
Licking is the go-to move during oral, obviously, but (gentle) sucking is a good way to mix it up. Try a little over her clitoris, and see how she reacts. If she’s into it, go a teensy bit harder.

Sometimes, It’s Not Going to Happen
…And that’s okay. Seriously. Step away from the vagina. Please don’t keep at it for 30 minutes in an effort to prove your manhood. It won’t end well.

Beware the Post-Oral Kiss
Some women have zero issue with it; Others are seriously grossed out. Sure, you just did a really good deed, but don’t ruin it now. Let her make the first move. If she goes for your lips, great; if not, her neck will happily receive your lips.


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5 Women Reveal Their Favorite Sex Toys—and How They Use Them

We’ve all read some iteration of the classic “What’s in her purse?” feature, wherein women reveal the contents of their bags and explain why they never leave the house without hydrating face spray or emergency granola bars. These behind-the-scenes looks at people’s everyday essentials can be both informative and entertaining—and so we upped the ante by asking five women, straight and queer, partnered and not, ages 23 to 44, to show us what’s inside their sex-toy drawers. Read on for their intimate thoughts on their most intimate accessories. (And, if something captures your imagination, go forth and shop!)

Alexandra
Age: 25
Occupation: Investment analyst
Identifies as: Female
Has sex with: Men
Relationship status: Single

California Exotic Novelties Waterproof Jack Rabbit-5 Rows “My specifications: It had to be quiet—I had a roommate in college to think about. I wanted it to be water-resistant, have something for my clit, and [be] in a reasonable price range. This is pretty solid; batteries eroded in it, but it’s fine. The mid-section is supposed to be massaging beads…My vagina isn’t sensitive enough, I guess, to feel massaged, so it’s kind of a useless function. The vibrating on my clit is nice with the rabbit ears, especially because I have a clit ring. The majority of usage is solo, but my ex-boyfriend thought it was fun to play with.”

Fun Factory Stronic Eins: “Truth be told, I never got off with my rabbit vibrator. Sure, it would feel good, but it wouldn’t make me come. I decided that I needed to invest in more intense, heavy machinery. After much research, I found—and was a little scared of — the Stronic Eins. It’s classified as a thruster—a next-gen vibrator for sure…I lie there lazily like a dead fish and let it do the work. It’s nice, but it just isn’t a real dick.”

Trinity Vibes Fill-er-up Butt Plug: “I LOVE Pinky; that’s what he’s named. My ex-boyfriend got it for me, actually. He knew how much I could crave anal, so it was really sweet of him. I use it with lube…when masturbating, having sex, and every now and then I just put it in and wear it around the house…I love using it during sex; I can get off from anal, so having that in while getting f*cked in the vagina makes for a hell of a ride. It’s kind of big, but with the cone shape, once you slip a little bit into your butt and relax, it’s easy to slide the whole thing right on in. It’s my favorite toy by far.”

RELATED: Finally, a Sex Toy That Gives You Suggestions

Emma
Age: 32
Occupation: Small-business owner
Identifies as: “I’m a cisgender queer femme leather girl.”
Has sex with: “I play with people of all genders (including cis men), as long as they understand and respect queer femininity.”
Relationship status: “I live with my partner, who is a trans man; we have a non-monogamous relationship, but are very committed to one another and building a life together. We’ve been dating in a primary-partner capacity for over two years, but had a non-primary arrangement for a couple years before that. Outside of my relationship, nearly all of my sexual interactions are kink-related, and mostly at kink or leather events.”

Hitachi Magic Wand Personal Massager: “I buy a new one every few years; it’s always been a staple, alone or with a partner.”

Scarf and Babeland Bondage Tape: “For bondage (as a top, and with my sweetie), I stick with either the bondage tape, or vintage scarves (which can also be used to make an awesome dildo harness—I love a multifunctional item). After a workshop with Midori, I really appreciated the versatility of scarf bondage: It’s much easier to change someone’s position very quickly than with rope bondage. Plus, it’s pretty. I like pretty.” [Ed. note: Scarves tend to bunch and create pressure points, increasing the risk of nerve or tissue damage, so learn how to tie them properly before using them for bondage.]

Opinel Carbon Blade No8 Folding Knife: “Used for cutting off bondage tape, and occasional knife play—not cutting, but fear and sensation stuff. Never solo. I guess it’s no fun to try to scare myself?”

Babeland Jaguar Harness and Vixskin Buck: “I prefer leather [harnesses] [and have a] variety of cocks, all from Babeland, and most made by Vixskin. Some smaller, for ass play, some larger. The Buck is a perennial favorite; I’m not psyched about balls on a dildo, most of the time. Nearly all cock use is with a partner, although occasionally, if I’m psyching myself up before a scene or playdate where I’ll be using a cock to f*ck someone or get a blowjob, I’ll get off while wearing my cock first, either with the Hitachi or just by jerking off (I’m physically sensitive enough and find the whole thing hot enough that the pressure from base of the dildo is sufficient).”

Sliquid: “Does good lube count as a sex toy? It should. Makes all the difference in the world.”

Crave Wink Vibrator: “For travel, or (because it’s so quiet) when there are houseguests…It looks like a lipstick. I don’t mind going through TSA with a suitcase of toys, but sometimes, it’s nice to keep things subtle. Either with a partner or solo.”

Classic Egg Vibrator: “I replace these yearly; the most recent one was from. [I] usually [use these] with a partner.


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36 Sex Positions Everyone Should Try in Their Lifetime

Is your sex life screaming for an upgrade? With more than 35 orgasm-inducing ways to get your grind on, our sex-position guide will help fulfill all your naughty needs. Click away!

Pretzel Dip

How
You lie on your right side; he kneels, straddling your right leg and curling your left leg around his left side.

Benefit
You get the deeper penetration of doggy style while still being able to make that important eye contact.

Bonus
Get your guy to put his hands to work.

Flatiron

How
You lie facedown on the bed, legs straight, hips slightly raised.

Benefit
This position creates a snug fit. Your guy’s stuff will seem even larger.

Bonus
Some shallow thrusts and deep breathing will help him last longer.

G-Whiz

How
You lie back with your legs resting on each of his shoulders.

Benefit
When you raise your legs, it narrows the vagina and helps target your G-spot.

Bonus
Ask him to start rocking you in a side-to-side or up-and-down motion. That should bring his penis into direct contact with your G-spot.

Face-Off

How
He sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face him, seated on his lap.

Benefit
You’re in control of the angle and depth of the entry and thrust. Being seated provides support, so it’s great for marathon sex.

Bonus
Let your fingers (and hands) do the talking. Once seated, you can put your hands anywhere on your body or his to make things more interesting.

Cowgirl’s Helper

How
Similar to the popular Cowgirl position, you kneel on top of him, pushing off his chest and sliding up and down his thighs. But he helps by supporting some of your weight and grabbing your hips or thighs while he rises to meet each thrust.

Benefit
Less stress on your legs, making climaxing easier. Plus, female-dominant positions delay his climax, so everyone wins.

Bonus
Alternate between shallow and deep thrusting to stimulate different parts of the vagina.

For more positions visit: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/sex-positions-guide


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11 Things happy couples never do

OR NOT OFTEN…

1) Happy couples know that it’s best not to involve others in their relationship. They talk directly to each other if an issue arises instead of consulting others who often may provide negative feedback that could hurt the relationship.

There is nothing wrong with healthy girl or guy time, but don’t use it as an opportunity to complain about your spouse. If you don’t apply this step, there will be too much negativity in your marriage.

2) Happy couples accept and love each other as-is. They know that comparing to others is unrealistic (and unfair) and will leave them feeling insecure about their marriage.

If you do spend time with other couples and you even see better qualities in another spouse, stay confident and don’t second-guess your choice.

3) Happy couples take responsibility for their feelings and their role in the relationship. They don’t blame each other for their problems. They ask for what they need instead of wallowing in self-pity or blaming their spouse for their situation.

4) Happy couples know happiness and fun. They “date” regularly and laugh a lot. Even when life throws you a curve ball and things are extremely stressful, keep things light and fun.

5) They look for the good in each other, and when they are upset, they learn how to ask for their needs in a sensitive way. Happy couples know that criticism only tears the other down and creates a rupture in their relationship. If your spouse is doing something that you don’t like, pay attention to why it’s bothering you and learn how to talk about it in a safe way.

6) Happy couples know that financial stress puts pressure on a marriage. They stay on top of their money and are in communication about their financial goals so that they can make responsible decisions for their future together. If money is a topic you would rather not discuss, know that avoiding it will make money matters worse.

7) We all know what people say about someone who assumes. Happy couples know how to communicate so that they’re aware of each others needs and feelings. No matter how connected they feel, they don’t expect their spouse to know what they want or how they are feeling. They spell it out clearly. If you are not getting the attention you need, tell your partner.

8) Happy couples know that sharing their frustrations are for the purpose of getting their needs met and achieving greater connection. They are intentional about when they share and ask their spouse if it is a good time instead of catching them off-guard, unleashing their upset, and fueling the fire of greater conflict. If you have something to get off your chest, first ask, “I’d like to share something with you. Is now a good time?”

9) Even if they have stereotypical gender roles in their relationship, happy couples are flexible and are able to do necessary tasks immediately—even if it’s not their forte. So even if your partner is typically the one to get dinner on the table, if they can’t tonight, you can easily step-in without a fuss and relieve them of their responsibility.

10) Happy couples encourage each other instead of pressuring. They find ways to support each other and that support is a natural motivator as opposed to nagging which often backfires. If your spouse is out of work, instead of nagging them to go on job interviews, try to raise their morale with your love and support, even if it seems scary. Your genuine encouragement and trust in them will motivate them to move forward.

11) Happy couples give no credence to the stereotypical put downs of husbands and wives that are often featured in pop culture. They love each other and don’t belittle, disrespect, or poke fun at each other like they may see on TV or film. If you’re not already aware of how common it is to treat marriage as a punchline, begin to notice the subtle (and not so subtle) messages about marriage you encounter on a daily basis.

This general marriage counseling advice is a wonderful place to jump-start your marriage and breathe new life into it. Our couples know that, and we want to share it with you, as well!


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The Cervical Orgasm Is a (Very Good) Thing—Here’s How to Try It

Best Sex Ever

How Can You Stimulate Your Cervix?
Your cervix is like a bouncer in front of the VIP room that houses your internal organs, stopping whatever enters your vagina from making its way any farther. The ectocervix, the only part of the cervix that’s accessible through the vagina, is located near the back of the vagina, says O’Reilly. That’s why sometimes when you or your partner dive deep, you feel a unique sensation at the end of each thrust. Sometimes, that contact doesn’t feel so good, especially if you’re not as turned on as you could be, says O’Reilly. But as your arousal heightens, the flood of chemicals throughout the body can make that deep sensation feel ahhhmazing. At that point, stimulation to your cervix can fill entire abdominal region with pleasure, says O’Reilly.

However, there’s still a chance that no matter how turned on you are, cervical contact is more “ouch” than “oooh” for your body. Just as some of us love a good foot rub while others can’t stand having their feet touched, cervical stimulation varies woman to woman, says O’Reilly. In short, experimentation is all good, but don’t get so set on having a cervical orgasm that you hurt yourself. Keep the focus on having fun while trying something new.

Time it Just Right
With that orgasmic disclaimer in place, here’s how to give it a shot: First, consider your cycle. A few days before Aunt Flow’s visit, your cervix might be more sensitive to the touch, and when you’re menstruating your cervix is lower, which makes it easier to reach. Plus, O’Reilly finds that some women are more likely to have cervical orgasms during ovulation, or about two weeks before their periods arrive. So if having your cervix touched feels iffy but you’re still curious, try it during a different time of the month to see if anything changes.

Pace Yourself
No matter how ready you are to get to the good stuff, be sure to start slowly, says O’Reilly. She recommends going about your regular routine and waiting until you’re about 80 percent of the way to an orgasm before adding in some deep penetration that reaches the cervix. The only thing you have to change at that point is making sure whatever tool you’re using, whether it’s fingers, a penis, or a sex toy, touches the cervix with each thrust. If you respond well to G-spot stimulation, consider incorporating that kind of arousal, as well, says O’Reilly. May we suggest trying this position for maximum G-spot pleasure?

Troubleshooting Your Other C-Spot
While experimenting, you might find that you like the feeling of something touching your cervix, but you don’t love the poking sensation, says O’Reilly. In that instance, she recommends using lube, like Astroglide’s Sensitive Skin Gel, since the extra slipperiness may minimize that weird feeling.

Strike Cervical Gold
Though it can be hard to distinguish between different types of orgasms, O’Reilly has heard women describe cervical ones as feeling especially full-bodied, like an “uncontrollable rush of pleasure between the belly button and the vagina” and like a second, more powerful sensation after a clitoral orgasm. If you wind up having one, congratulations on reaching a personal sex milestone! And if you don’t, remember that figuring out what does—or doesn’t— do it for you is just as worthy of celebration.


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The Do’s and Don’ts of Hooking Up with Your Ex

Hooking up with your ex is like passing by your neighborhood Starbucks: It’s there and it’s familiar, so why wouldn’t you pop in for a little something hot?

Does Your Vagina Become Tighter If You Have Less Sex?On the other hand, it’s kind of a potential minefield. There are feelings to consider, and oh yeah, the fact that you broke up might be a good reason to stay away.

Still, licensed clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., author of Should I Stay Or Should I Go?, says there can be perks to sex with an ex. “It’s familiar, and you know what works, so it may be satisfying,” she says. “And if you have not had other partners since your breakup and you knew each others sexual health status before, it may be more safe than hooking up with a stranger.

Of course, you should proceed with caution before jumping into anything with an ex, but hopping into a sexual time machine can be fun.

Durvasula offers up a few tips on making with an ex work…plus a few things you probably want to avoid

Still, licensed clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., author of Should I Stay Or Should I Go?, says there can be perks to sex with an ex. “It’s familiar, and you know what works, so it may be satisfying,” she says. “And if you have not had other partners since your breakup and you knew each others sexual health status before, it may be more safe than hooking up with a stranger.

Of course, you should proceed with caution before jumping into anything with an ex, but hopping into a sexual time machine can be fun.

Durvasula offers up a few tips on making with an ex work…plus a few things you probably want to avoid

1. Manage Your Expectations and His.

This is just about sex, nothing more, says Durvasula, so you need to keep it real with your ex. You can make that clear by saying something like, “We may not be right for a relationship, but I am still attracted to you and would love to share that part of our relationship again.” (Of course, he might still want something more, in which case you’ll want to shut it down.)

Be honest with yourself about your goal, too: Are you looking for a little release, or are you trying to actually recreate something? If it’s the latter, do not pass go.

2. Be Safe
Maybe you didn’t regularly use a condom when you were together, but he could have hooked up with others between your break up and now.

“The fact is, unless he has a set of clean test results in front of him, this isn’t about hurt feelings or ego, this is about health,” says Durvasula. If your ex is offended and won’t wrap it up, don’t sleep with him. Sacrificing your health isn’t worth one night of nostalgic sex.

3. Remind Yourself Why You Broke Up
Because you so don’t want to go there again. Durvasula says it’s important to take time to think about why things didn’t work out before you do anything physical: “Once you’ve done it, there’s no going back.”

Don’t…

1. Fall Back Into Old Communications Patterns
Talking and texting regularly are big no-nos. Even if you perfectly set the stage, your ex might still reach out afterward. “That’s the risk you take,” says Durvasula. If he does, tell him you’re still attracted to him and that you’re grateful he’s been in your life…but that you broke up for a reason.

2. Talk About Things From the Past That Upset You or Hurt You
This hookup is not for fixing what went down before. If the past comes up, gently cut off the conversation and say you don’t want to go there again. “Don’t snap, don’t cut him off, and don’t yell,” says Durvasula. “But also don’t engage it, and gently put it down.”

3. Be Self-Deprecating
Making jokes about your mismatched underwear or that your thighs are bigger now than they were when he last saw you naked achieves nothing. You’ve got him where you want him—so own it.

4. Chat About New People You’ve Been With
It’s tempting to let your ex know how wanted you are, but nobody wants to hear that when sex is on the table, says Durvasula.

5. Expect to Ever Hear From Him Afterward
Sure, it’s just good manners and he might reach out to tell you he had fun. But it’s best to treat this as a hookup that may never happen again.

If you start to miss him, talk to friends who were around for the first breakup. “They will be more than happy to remind you of the issues from the first time,” says Durvasula. She also recommends distracting yourself with fun activities, like going out with friends. “A breakup is hard enough,” he says. “Replaying it a second time is like watching a bad movie twice.”

The bottom line: Sex with an ex isn’t for everyone. But if you’re both down and have zero expectations for any future relationship, then why the hell not?


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I Wore a Vibrator Around Town—And Let My Husband Control It

Here’s how that went.

This article was written by Amanda Chatel and provided by our partners at YourTango.

Recently, my husband and I got our hands on a toy for couples. It’s shaped like a U and sort of clips into place via your vagina. It also has a remote control that can be synced to your phone, so your partner can be anywhere in the world and control the speed and intensity of the toy as you wear it. Intriguing, right?

So my husband and I decided to put it to the test.

At the Dry Cleaners While he stayed home, I ventured outside to run errands—it was Saturday after all. With my vibrator clipped in place and a tight pair of pants for even more support, I went to get my dry-cleaning. And just as I reached in my wallet to pay for it, my husband turned on the vibrator.

But it didn’t feel sexy at all. I immediately went into panic mode. Could they hear the buzzing? Was my crotch visibly vibrating? Was my face turning red?

As a means to quell my own paranoia, I pretended my phone was ringing and dug through my bag to look for it. Thankfully, they appeared to have no idea what was going on. Then, my husband cut the vibe. I was actually relieved.

On the Street Next, I headed to the drugstore to pick up a few things and, of course, halfway there the vibrator turned back on, then off, then on again, then off. This was complicated. I had figure out a way to walk so that the vibrator didn’t wiggle its way out of my vagina, Awkward.

Since there was no one on the street during this part of our experiment, I was able to enjoy it more—despite the weird walking. Basically, I was sex on the move. It was really hot for me to think about how my husband was at home enjoying this game as much as I was—but in a different way.

At a Bar as much as I liked wandering around doing my errands, I knew the best place for me to really enjoy myself would be sitting down at a bar with a drink. That way, I wouldn’t have to worry about the vibe wiggling its way out of my hoo-ha, and I could relax and enjoy. Oh, and I did.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t relax enough to climax in a public place, but it definitely felt good. And with my husband at the controls, the surprise factor was one of the best parts.

On the Way Home After a little while, I decided to head back home—with the vibrator buzzing the whole way. I later found out he forgot to turn it off.

The Takeaway It was freeing and exciting to take our bedroom play into the streets—even if I couldn’t be completely at ease with it. Though this was fun, I don’t see us making a habit of using sex toys in public. Worrying about a vibrator falling out of my pants is kind of stressful.


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The Couple Who Got Arrested for Having Sex on a Ferris Wheel Are Our V-Day Heroes

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas…unless you get caught having sex on a Ferris wheel. That’s what Chloe Scordianos and Frank Panzica III discovered when they were arrested for getting busy in Las Vegas’s “The High Roller,” dubbed the world’s tallest observation wheel. The ride features luxury cabins with floor-to-ceiling glass windows, so people can enjoy unobstructed views of the city. It’s places-you-need-to-have-sex. According to the couple’s arrest report (per Salt Lake City’s the security officers used an intercom to ask the couple to put their clothes back on after they were spotted smoking cigarettes and knockin’ boots. They stopped briefly, but the view was apparently too much to resist, so they went at it again. Security guards tried again to interrupt the coitus, but Chloe and Frank weren’t having it. (To be fair, the ride was 30 minutes long. So This Happened, to get the day’s trending stories and health studies. They weren’t the only ones who noticed: People in the next cabin over recorded the whole thing on their phones, and surveillance video caught the action, too. Police watched the video after the fact and “clearly saw” Chloe laying on her back in the center of the cabin, per the police report. Frank was on his knees over her and removed her dress. He also stripped and “exposed his body parts.” It sounds like they were pretty unapologetic after they were busted, too. “They both said they were just having a good time and didn’t think anyone would notice,” the report said. This isn’t the first time people have gotten freaky on the wheel—the police report mentions that “sex acts” are happening more often there. In fact, the website VitalVegas.com actually offers tips on how to get some hot dog and bun action without getting caught (bring a blanket to cover up and stay seated)—advice Chloe and Frank probably could have used. Better luck next time, guys!


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Variety and innovation is the key when it comes to Elegant lust’s products

February is coming to an end, but the love is still in the air. Wait a second, love is divine, but what about turning up the heat by the sinfully great orgasm that everyone deserves. Now there is a solution for it. Yes, elegantlust.com is the pit stop that provides much required relief and intends to break stereotypes in the lovemaking game. The inventory gloats of artistically crafted bachelorette party favors, sex toys for women, like vibrators for women, bondage for couples and costumes for adults. There are some generic products too, like lingerie for women or sexy lingerie for men. The store also has organic personal lubricant, considered one of the best lubricant for women, to make the smile curve touch ear to ear of various sex lube shoppers. Bachelorette night is the last night out for the bride-to-be and she should not miss the chance. More than her, it’s her friends who shouldn’t miss the opportunity. Hence, Carpedium, go for the kill with not-so-subtle bachelorette party favors from elegant lust. Our bachelorette party favors are designed for the best of night outs and fit the budget as well. There are lingerie for women and other sexy lingerie for men as well. You can get them for your use or even gift the newly wed couple, if you are willing to take the risk. The lingerie for women section in our store boasts of sexiness oozing out and even the sexy lingerie’s for men are things to watch out for in the dark. The newly married couple should get the hottest collection as the bondage for couples is one of the best ways to bring out the wild side and embrace orgasmic levels. The bondage for couples kit provide by us can be coupled with costumes for adults for a better role play. Role play or Cosplay is important in the modern day sex life and our unique costumes for adults will just exaggerate the feeling of love (read: lust). There is not a better experience than making a sexy nurse bound and tied and then going for the kill. The fantasies you gained by watching innumerable movies, can turn into reality. There are various sex toys for women like the good ol’ vibrators for women and others like beads & balls, pumps, etc. that can be of huge help to all the ladies who don’t want a man and intend to be self sufficient. Sex toys for women are many, but the best option when confused is definitely the vibrators for women as they are the classic toys that any adult woman would love to have. Moreover, nothing beats the classics. The store has some relief for all the sex lube shoppers as well. The best lubricant for women, according to a lot of sex lube shoppers, is undoubtedly the organic personal lubricant. Organic personal lubricant can be deemed as the best lubricant for women as they are equally suitable for women with sensitive skin. Winter might not come, but orgasm is on its way. Log in to www.elegantlust.com to get all the fun that you deserve.


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