“Can guys really tell when you go bare down there?”
The Guy Next Door answers your questions about grooming habits, Facebook friends, and bad date planning
Can guys really feel a difference when a girl is bare “down there”?—Kristi, Cordele, GA
Well, yes, we can feel a difference. We feel it when you grind against us, and we feel it under our nose when we venture, as you say, “down there.” Plus, guys are visually aroused, and if you’re covered in a ton of natural flora, we have a harder time sneaking glances below the tree line. I think most guys would agree that it’s better if you’re groomed. But a word of caution on going totally bare: If you’re constantly shaving and regrowing, then you’re spending half your pubic life in some state of stubbly regrowth. That can feel like sandpaper against your guy’s groin. Trim and neat is always appreciated.
I bet his friends on Facebook include everybody from brothers and sisters to some random guy he met once five years ago. By asking him to kick out his ex, you simply call your own insecurities to his attention. He may even find your request offensive—you’re implying you don’t trust him, after all. The smart move here? Forget about it. They dated in college, and now he’s married to you. You share his bed; she shares his friend list. Unless you’re worried that they’re more than friends in real life (which doesn’t sound like the case), let this one go.
The guy I’m seeing makes all these big plans (dinner at a fancy restaurant, a trip to the museum, even skydiving!) and then never follows through. What gives?—Dani, Salt Lake City, UT
When he proposes a plan, how do you react? My hunch is that he needs you to reassure him that he’s on the right track. If he says, “Let’s ride go-karts!” and you give a lackluster, “Sure,” then he might start to doubt his idea and eventually drop it. He doesn’t want to waste your time (or his money) on something you don’t want to do. So if he’s jazzed about a potential date, he needs you to be too. That said, if you’re showing excitement and he’s still not following through, he could just be flaky. The next time he suggests a museum, wait a few days and then remind him. You might even have to buy the tickets to spur him into action. At that point, you’ll have to decide: How much do you want to be with a guy you have to nudge along all the time?
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