15 Things We REALLY Wish Guys Knew About Giving Oral

Guys try—they really do. But when it comes to oral sex, they can fluctuate between acting like they’ve never seen a vagina before to getting so in the zone that they have no freaking clue what’s working (or not) for you.

Of course, some men absolutely know what’s up down there (and if you’ve found one of these dudes, marry him immediately), but from our experience, it’s not the norm.

With that in mind, we’ve created a little cheat sheet for dudes of the things we wish they knew about oral. Print it out, “accidentally” leave it up on your browser, wallpaper your place with it…hopefully he’ll get the hint.

Make Pit Stops
Getting up, shifting your body down, and honing in on her vagina like a heat-seeking tongue missile is the opposite of sexy. Work your way down by kissing her neck, breasts, stomach, and inner thighs. Then you can go in for the kill.

Don’t Be All American Pharoah Out of the Gate
Speaking of going in for the kill, you may like it hard and fast right away…but women like a little buildup. Take your time, assess the situation, and go slooow.

She’s Self-Conscious About It
Vaginas be crazy: They can develop an odor, have excess discharge, and even taste different (or so we hear). So it’s pretty understandable that we might feel a little uncomfortable about you sticking your face down there. Tell your girl she’s beautiful, and let her know how into it you are, too. That’ll go a long way.

Play Nice
While we know you want to use every tool you’ve got when you’re down there, never, ever use your teeth. If you do, you and your Dracula fanboy *ss might be sleeping together on the couch tonight.

Use Your Ears
If all you hear is “…” you’re doing it wrong. Soften your approach, try a different spot, and listen for moans—that’s your cue that you’ve found the right spot.

…And Your Hands
Okay, okay—it’s oral sex. But you can make it so much better if you add in a little finger action, as well. Just keep in mind that our hatred of jackhammer sex applies to finger usage as well.

Forget What Your Ex Told You Works
Every woman is different. Plus, she was probably lying.

She’s Shifting Around for a Reason
We want to help, so let us. If she’s repeatedly arching her back in a way that moves your tongue away from its current maneuver, there’s probably a reason for it. Go to the next move, man.

Know Where the Clitoris Is
Take a second, and run your finger along the top of her vagina. Feel that little bump? You found it—hooray! Still lost? Your buddy Google will clue you in later.

…And Use It
Please. Pretty please?

…Just Don’t Spend All Your Time There
Some dudes are obsessed with the clitoris—obsessed. And while it’s a super awesome and incredibly important part to focus on, there are other areas that feel pretty damn good, too. Branch out and showcase your versatility. She’ll appreciate it.

Spelling the Alphabet Down There Is Just Weird
Know that trick you read where spelling the alphabet on her ladybits with your tongue is the best thing ever? It’s not. It’s just weird.

Try Sucking
Licking is the go-to move during oral, obviously, but (gentle) sucking is a good way to mix it up. Try a little over her clitoris, and see how she reacts. If she’s into it, go a teensy bit harder.

Sometimes, It’s Not Going to Happen
…And that’s okay. Seriously. Step away from the vagina. Please don’t keep at it for 30 minutes in an effort to prove your manhood. It won’t end well.

Beware the Post-Oral Kiss
Some women have zero issue with it; Others are seriously grossed out. Sure, you just did a really good deed, but don’t ruin it now. Let her make the first move. If she goes for your lips, great; if not, her neck will happily receive your lips.